the Nerve of her

  I could probably write a novel about my first pregnancy and what was going on in my life and what I was thinking during that time in my life. I always wanted children, I always wanted to be a mother, I enjoyed being pregnant, every time. But that first time (and especially the next one) I was surrounded by people who stressed me out and were just not good for my well being. My children are My Joy - but yes, there is something very special that first time around. For the most part, I had a very healthy time during my pregnancy. It was 1997, so internet was available, but not like it is today. Still, I read everything I could get my hands on. I had every book and count down calendar available. I read Dr Sears and thought about a Home Birth. Amazingly, my Back did not hurt ! I figured it must be pregnancy hormones. You know, the ones that make your bones all ready for birth? This was not anything I ever thought about talking about with my doctor or anything, I don’t know why. My doc...

  Living in San Francisco in your 20’s is a unique experience no matter what. In the latter part of the 1980’s it was a time that I don’t think will ever come around again. We certainly didn’t find it ‘easy’ to get by, but you could definitely work some local part time jobs, go to school, pay your bills to live (if you had a good living situation) and hang out with your friends. You could hardly do the same thing today. Families living in The City can barely get by today. A two income household can barely afford the rent on some of the places even smaller than what we used to be able to get back then. And if you have kids? School costs will break you - and you have  to get your kid into a decent school. Things have changed. I was living on Chestnut St with my cousin, working on Union St and so of course, I walked everywhere. Unless I was being driven around in my boyfriend’s tiny two seater! But my back Hurt - constantly. I just thought it was normal. Looking back now, I don’t...

  Nothing to do but start at what I first remember, right? I don’t remember my back not hurting, really. And now, I guess, for most people, that’s not normal? And I mean, as a kid even. Back in the day, when I was a kid - we were the kids that weren’t allowed to sit on furniture if there were grownups needing it. So for the majority of my childhood, I sat on the floor or often slept on the floor at my grandparents or my aunts house. I distinctly remember one occasion, my brother and I were at my grandmother’s and we were watching Jaws and scaring each other pretty hard about it, enough that we were too scared to go to the bathroom alone (we were young) our mother came back from wherever she had been, and I remember asking if I could sleep on a recliner that night since my back was hurting. I don’t know how young I was, but I don’t think I was yet a teenager. I know that my back hurt all the time as a teenager. Boys were always offering those big body “hugs” to crack my back for me...